I’ve changed. Can you?

People who have known me for a good while might have noticed I have changed a bit. Not just appearance wise, but also personality. Not like dramatically or anything. Just the way I act sometimes.

Someone that met me a few years ago, before I moved to England would see a very shy girl, with a very low self-esteem, negative and super insecure. All things I hated in myself. I expected things to come to me, I didn’t make the effort to change. I didn’t know how to speak to people I didn’t really know. Let’s put it this way, I was a bit boring and awkward. But only with the people I didn’t know. I’d talk non-stop with people I knew – close friends and family.

Today I am a different person. I am chatty, my self-esteem is much better, and I don’t give up on things that easily anymore. At least things that I like and I know are worth fighting for. I guess moving to another country where I didn’t know anything or anyone has helped me to change that, and understanding I have to fight for myself and to change my life. That was the main reason that made me leave home. There were many times in my life I didn’t feel happy about. And for different reasons. Nowadays that has changed. There are days I feel down, I think everyone does, but most of the days I try to be happy. I have realised that if I don’t make myself happy no one will. I have learnt that if I don’t like myself for what I am, no one will. And I didn’t like myself. Therefore, I’ve changed.

It took me a long away to be who I am now. It didn’t happen from one day to another. It’s little steps. I have changed and I am happy I did. I feel better about myself.

I used to be the person who’d always say “I can’t do it, I don’t want to do it”. Now I work two jobs. I get paid for the one I hate, and volunteer for the one I love. I am more comfortable speaking to people I don’t know and less scared of meeting new people. I still have a lot to work on. Like, start taking life a bit less serious. Be more adventurous and think less about the “what if’s” that always seem to be on my way. Be less and less insecure. And I am working on it.

It’s hard for people to embrace change and make that decision. I know that. I was like that. I know people who are like that. But guess what? Most of the times change is good and it feels amazing. It makes you see what kind of person you are and what you can become. We always want to be better, right?

I now like what I see in myself and the person I am. Some people might not. But I’m not bothered. If you want to change who you are, go for it! But change because YOU want to. I did and now I am happy.

As Obama nicely said:

“Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we’ve been waiting for. We are the change we seek.”

Love,

Alexa

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